


The Decisions of a loving Mother

by Thefrogwhoswalloed



Series: The Lightwoods and their children [2]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6622012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thefrogwhoswalloed/pseuds/Thefrogwhoswalloed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. Soft snoring came from the bed next to her son’s, reminding her that she wasn’t the only one watching over Alec’s well-being."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The clock at the end of the room was ticking away, slowly measuring the time second after second, minute after minute. It had been three hours since she has sad down next to her oldest child, watching him sleep away the exhaustion from the demon poison. He had protected his sister and the little red-head – true to his name. Alexander. Protector of mankind. She sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. Soft snoring came from the bed next to her son’s, remembering her that she wasn’t the only one watching over Alec’s well-being.

The _warlock_ was lying on his side, his hand outstretched to Alec’s. He had come to the institute within minutes of Isabelle’s call, throwing everyone out of the infirmary. He had opened the door over an hour later, exhausted but with a satisfied smile on his face, telling them that _Alexander_ would be fine and about but needed some rest so his body was able to heal the damage from the demon poison and the exhaustion from the healing.

Softly someone opened the door to the infirmary. She sat up straighter to be seen by the person coming closer to her and Alec. A heavy sigh was heard before the person rounded the corner. “Isabelle, go to bed. You can’t do anything for him until he wakes up,” said Robert stopping in front of Alec’s bed. She frowned at her husband who pinched the bridge of his nose before looking up, ready to reprimand his daughter again. He stopped short when he saw who was sitting next to Alexander’s bed. “Maryse?”

“Don’t look so surprised, Robert. He’s my son, too.” She turned back to watch her son, ignoring her husband. The older man took another chair and sat next to his wife, watching his son sleep.

“I just didn’t think I would see you here,” he said as he leaned forward and pulled the blanket up to his son’s chin. They sat in silence, watching and waiting. The black-haired young man was stirring from time to time but never woke up. 

When the first rays of sunshine shone through the window opposite Alec’s bed and the institute was slowly waking up, Maryse stood up and left the infirmary. She went to Robert’s office getting a paper with the official letter head of the New York institute and started writing.

She didn’t know how long she had been alone in her husband’s office when said man entered. He looked at her and what she was doing, seeing some papers in the bin that hadn’t been there last night. He sat down on the couch and waited until Maryse was done drawing the run on the paper to send the fire message.

“He woke up some minutes ago, didn’t stay awake too long. You can see how exhausted he is,” Robert told his wife and leaned back. She just nodded her head watching him silently. “The warlock?” Short and to the point. Robert huffed but didn’t say anything to her about addressing the warlock any other way than she had before. “Still sleeping soundly.” 

A fire message appeared in front of the dark-haired woman. She smiled at the content and stood up to leave the room. Confused Robert followed her to their bedroom where she got a bag from their closet. “Maryse?” He followed her to his son’s room where she got some clothes from Alexander’s wardrobe, folding them in the bag. “Maryse, what are you doing?”

“Alec will be staying with Max in Idris. To heal.”


	2. II

They fought, they argued, they screamed. But in the end nobody was able to convince Maryse that Alec would be better off staying with them in New York where they had access to a powerful warlock and where they could look for Jace. Isabelle tried to reason with her mother but the stoic woman didn’t budge. 

Alec – who had been out of the infirmary for about an hour and a half – had been brought to the portal, his arm still in a sling from being crushed by a greater demon. His face looked ashen and his eyes looked dull as he stood next to his mother waiting to be let through to Idris. 

He sighed. It was in the middle of the day here in New York, meaning it was evening in Idris. He hadn’t eaten in days and his arm ached – the Iratze his mother had drawn, not helping in the slightest. Izzy had been sent on a mission, to ‘avoid a scene’ as his mother had called it, with Clary who was still on a high after her mother had been woken by Magnus.

_Magnus_. He wasn’t allowed to say ‘good bye’ to Magnus, he wasn’t allowed to say ‘thank you’, he wasn’t allowed to see him one last time for who-knows-how-long. Warlocks weren’t allowed to enter Alicante without invitation and Alec doubted that he would get anyone to invite Magnus to the city.

The portal opened and Maryse dragged him through. Moments after he was attacked by a smaller person who attached himself to Alec’s legs. He looked down to his brother who was hugging him. “Hey, Max.” He patted his younger brother’s hair. The three of them made their way through the streets of Alicante. The city hadn’t changed much from the last time he had been there – when he still had been a child, younger than Max was now. 

They stopped in front of one of the similar looking houses. Max greeted the man standing guard next to the entrance. Alec eyed the man wearily who didn’t pay much attention to the two visitors.

“Since when do we have a guard next to our door, mother?” asked Alec after Maryse had closed the door behind them.   
“Since times are changing and I want to make sure that my children are safe and nobody can come in without being invited or seen.” She took the small bag with Alec’s belongings from her son and went upstairs, indicating him to follow.

Maryse opened the last door on the right on the second floor and put the bag on the bed. It was furnished as sparsely as his room in the Institute with just a bed, a wardrobe and a dresser. The dark-haired woman put away the things she brought, making a list of what they would need to get for Alec’s stay in Alicante. When she was done, she went downstairs. 

Alec could hear her talking to Max who was excited to have his older brother with him.  
“How long will you and Alec stay here, mom?”  
“I can’t stay too long, but Alec will be here with you until he’s fully healed and the Silent Brother deem him healthy enough to return to his duty.”  
“And can I come with him back to New York?”  
“Alec won’t be returning to New York. He will be send to another Institute. It is high time that he will be trained by other Shadowhunters.”


	3. III

She stood at the window, wine glass in her right hand and looked at the world without really seeing anything. She sighed heavily and drank the last of her wine before placing the empty glass back on the table. The were forms lying on the table waiting to be signed. She had thought about it a lot in the last weeks and when they brought her son back injured and unconcious, she knew whose fault it was. Alec had always protected the people around him – his sister, Jace, Max and then Jocelyn’s little girl – but now his mind was somewhere else, distracting him from his mission and his duty. Because he was _in love_ with a warlock, a downworlder and worst of all it was Magnus Bane. Oh he denied it when Robert had asked him, but she could see them looking at eachother the way she used to look at _him_.

She turned around, determined to sign the papers – as Alec’s comanding officer she had to think of the institute, as his mother she had to look out for his well-being – and stopped short as she saw her son standing on the treshold observing her silently. He hadn’t spoken to her during dinner or later when he went upstairs to his room.

“Alec, you’re up. Is something wrong? You should be asleep.” She frowned at his appereance. He was still wearing the clothing he had put on when they had left for Idris over six hours ago.

“I think I’m too old for a set bed-time, mother”, he told her bluntly, “and I’m here because we should talk.”

* * *

He sat on the couch, wincing when his arm made contact with the armrest. He had thought about how he should address what he had heard before dinner, before he had turned around on the stairs, closing the door and nearly having a panic attack over his mother’s words. When he had calmed down enough he had started thinking. His mother may be the head of the Institute in New York but with the investigation and his parents’ past hanging over their heads, it was nearly impossible for her to send him away to another Institute.

Alec had waited for Max to go to bed and then some time longer to be sure his younger brother wouldn’t hear what he had to ask his mother. She had promised to stay for at least another day – to make sure that Alec would be able to handle his brother.

“What is this about, Alexander?” He hated how she called him by his full name, every letter laced with disappointment. He looked up to where she was standing, her mouth turning white from being pressed in a thin line.

“I think you know what this is about. Are these the papers?” he asked nodding to the stack still lying next to her empty glass. “When would you have told me? The moment I had to pack my things or when I was deemed healed enough to go back to the field? Would I even have been allowed to say ‘good bye’ to my sister? To Magnus?”

“Don’t. Say his name under this roof. It’s all his fault,” she told him angrily.

“Why are you so angry that I feel something for Magnus? You told me it wasn’t about me being gay.” She flinched at his words. “You always try to make it look like Magnus would harm me.”

“Because he will and I don’t want you to have to deal with it. When the moment comes – and I assure you it will come – that he is not interessted in you any longer, where would that leave you? You kissed him in front of members of the Institute and of the Clave. There are rumours spreading about you and your affair with the warlock. I try to containe the damage you did with your rash decision.”

He felt as if she had slapped him across the face.

“So you would rather take this experience from me than letting me feel happiness for as long at it lasts? You would rather send me away – away from my sister who is looking for our brother and my Parabatai alone although I should be with her. Away from the man I.. I don’t know what I actually feel for him, but it is new and strange and I thought I would never be able to feel anything for someone. I thought I would die alone without being able to experience love. _Mom._ Why would you do that?”

“You are young, Alec. You will grow out of this.. this infatutation with this downworlder. You will find a nice Shadowhunter girl you will love and start a family with…”

“I’m gay, mother!” Alec interrupted her. He was tired of her pretending he didn’t know what he was feeling. “I hated myself for being gay. I hated myself for feeling attracted to men. I was afraid what would happen if you ever found out.” He fell silent, breathing in, breathing out. “And that started to change with Magnus. Who saw me for myself. Not Jace. Not Isabelle. He saw me. The shadow behind the most praised Shadowhunters of our generation.” He swalloed. “Why do you want me to go back in the shadows? Do you hate me so much?”

* * *

Maryse gasped. She hadn’t known that her son felt that way about himself. Hodge had told her once that he had seen scars on her son’s wrists – way before Alec got his first rune.

“Of course I don’t hate you.”

“Then let me go back where I belong. Let me carry out my duty as a Shadowhunter and let me make my own mistakes. Whatever happened between you and Dad and Magnus – I don’t care. Just don’t take _this_ away from me.”

 He stood up, made his way upstairs and left his mother to think over their conversation. He hoped that Max hadn’t woken up from their loud voices – as neither he or his mother could keep it down when angry – and fell down on his bed waiting for morning to come.


	4. IV

The knock on the door interrupted his reading. He looked up, asking himself who would be knocking on his door in the middle of the day. He stood up and made his way over to the door, opening it. The guard – whose name was David as Alec got to know on his second day staying in Alicante – was talking to a blonde haired woman he knew very well.

“Lydia? How… nice to see you up and about.” The woman in question smiled up at the younger male and went in for a hug. Alec stiffened under the contact. They didn’t part on bad ground when she went back to Idris, but he wouldn’t call her a close friend.

“I came to visit you, obviously. May I come in?” she smiled sweetly, sending a glance to David who was eyeing them from the corner of his eyes.

“Sure. I.. Yes come in”, Alec answered and opened the door wider to let Lydia through. They walked over to the couch sitting on different ends.

“What brings you here, Lydia? Not that I don’t appreciate you visiting but it is a bit sudden for you to be here.” Blunt as always and to the point, the blonde woman thought.

“I came here because I would like to hear from you why your mother would send you to Alicante despite having a warlock – a high warlock at that – at your disposal in New York who could have healed you within days.”

“Magnus is not at “my disposal”. He’s.. he’s my friend. Maybe more. He healed me as good as he could after Izzy and Clary brought me to the Institute. But before he had his full power back, I was dragged here “to heal” as my mother told me”, he told her and swallowed before he went on, “and to be as far away from Magnus as possible. She also considered to send me to a different Institute somewhere. There, she can’t keep me from seeing Magnus. But to be able to enter Alicante, he has to be invited and who would invite Magnus Bane to Alicante so he could visit me? There is no official Clave business as justification.”

She hummed, tilting her head. “When was the last time you were outside?”

He grunted and crossed his arms over his chest with difficulty. “Appearently I’m not only here to heal, but my mother actually grounded me. I’m not allowed to leave the house.”

“I think she will make an exception for me. I am an envoy from the Clave, so I can make sure that you won’t run away in the middle of the street to get to New York.”

He snorted but nodded. He has been feeling claustrophopic fot the last days and he couldn’t wait to get outside – whether it was raining or sunny, he didn’t care.

* * *

Alec breathed in the fresh air. The wind ruffled his untamed hair. They had been walking around for some time before they made there way to one of the hills over-looking the city. They sat down in the fresh grass. Alec closed his eyes, forgetting for one moment that he was in Alicante due to his mother’s homophobic scheme. As he opened his eyes and looked over to Lydia, he found her looking at him.

“What are you looking at?”

“You”, she answered. “You look different.”

“With a bearly healed arm still in a sling?”

She laughed at his the confused look on his face. “No. You look as if something has been lifted from your shoulders.”

He looked up at the sky. “I kind of feel free now that my parents know that I’m gay. I can actually say “I’m gay” without hating myself. But at the same time I still feel conflicted, “What if”s playing through my head. “What if I had goten married like my mother asked me to?”, “What if I had told them sooner that I’m gay?”, “What if I never have met Magnus?”. All those thoughts are accompanying me through my days here. At night I think about the consequences of my actions. That I will never be able to apply for a high-ranking position in the Clave. But on the other hand I ask myself “do I really want that?”.”

He looked over, seeing her smile at him.

“I’m glad we didn’t get married. There is so much going wrong inside the Clave at the moment and I don’t think we would be able to change anything if we still play by their rules. It’s time they see the world as it is – with the way people are – and that we are not above Downworlders just because some guy had been blessed by Raziel a thousands years ago.” She stood up, brushing the grass from her clothing. “On this note. How do you feel about the position of a high investigator?”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: CClare owns the rights for The Mortal Instruments. A lot of other people own the right for Shadowhunters.


End file.
